Everyone's reaction to this has been a mischevious smile and, "You're having a girl this time!"
I don't know, friends. I've got a pretty good track record with boys, you know. ;)
I'm 10 weeks along. I was very fearful of the morning sickness that might come with this pregnancy. I had HG with my first pregnancy, but Zofran helped me a lot. With my second and third pregnancies I would have had constant nausea and daily vomiting for the entire 9 months, but again, Zofran helped me. Since Joseph's birth, a controversial study has surfaced linking high doses of Zofran to birth defects. Joseph was born with a heart defect and Caleb was born with a herniated diaphragm so this new study left Brandon and I wary of using Zofran during pregnancy.
We and all our prayer crew prayed for no morning sickness this time. Nonetheless, the constant nausea and vomiting started at 6 weeks. The morning sickness began the same week we started our first week of homeschooling.
The schoolwork was a welcome distraction, but it was hitting Kai hard that our lives had to slow down drastically for me. He loves to be with people and loves to be challenged. I am normally like that also, but the morning sickness made me want to hide in bed all day. Kai began acting out and it was making life difficult for all of us. After 2 weeks of that, I could not handle it anymore. Public school was not an option for us because when we prayed about it Brandon had a dream that it was not good for our boys right now. I wanted to put him in a private school, but I did not have a vehicle to drive him to school in. Our old van had finally bit the dust earlier that year and we were sharing Brandon's corolla. Whenever we had prayed about our finances, God told us to give instead of save for a car, so we did.
I prayed, "God, I need help. I think Kai needs to go to school, but I need a car to get him there. Will you please give me a car by the end of the night?" You have not because you ask not, right?
Nothing happened that night, but the next day some dear family members, who had no idea I wanted a second vehicle to drive Kai to school, called and told us they wanted to give us their van. It's practically brand new and the nicest vehicle I've ever owned. I'm still in shock that it was just given to us like that.
I called the little church school that I wanted to enroll Kai in. They had one kindergarten spot left. Their open house was that night and school started the following week. Perfect.
Kai has been loving it and so have I!
Meanwhile, my morning sickness has improved slightly. This is a miracle for me! In my other pregnancies it was constant for all 9 months. I still have a long ways to go, but I am hopeful and we are surviving.
Brandon has been superman. When he gets home from work, I hand over the kids and go to bed. He makes dinner, puts the kids to bed, and cleans up. On the weekends, he takes over completely while I try to rest, keep some food down, and emotionally prepare to take on another week with the kids. Say a prayer for him. He's carrying everything right now. The way he loves me at my worst has been a constant reminder to me of the way God loves me and the way I can depend on Him.
Dependence has been my word this season. As we've asked God what to do with our life--like our fertility, finances, and children's education-- He led us in way over our head. Sometimes it's been incredibly difficult. Sometimes it's been really confusing. I don't know why some prayers, like the prayer for the van, are answered so easily, while others, like healing for morning sickness, are such a battle for breakthrough. God never fits in the little theology box I want Him in. He is always full of surprises. Along the way, I think we are beginning to know more and more that we can trust God's love. Dependence is a journey into deep love and gratitude when you lean on someone Faithful.