Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Stay-at-war Mom

Stay-at-home moms
We are a ragtag army
Not the fittest, because we carried new life in our bodies
Not the finest, because 2 year olds don't believe in showers or fixing hair
Not the clean or the organized, because our homes are well lived in
But we are an army nonetheless.
Well loved, well led, and strong enough. 

We are at war to remember that this place is not our home. We are not staying here.

We cannot stay-at-home. We must stay-at-war. 

They label us homemakers, but Jesus is our homemaker. He is preparing a place for us--for our family. So why do we think we must make our place here?

Why do I fight ingratitude for the old furniture? for the mixmatched? for the well-loved and well-used? If keeping the old means someone else can have a Bible for the first time, then I will keep fighting and love this ratty old stuff and the empty walls. My God will provide all I need according to his riches and glory.

Why do I fight ingratitude for my time? How can I be unhappy when the weeds grow wild in the yard, when the floor stays unmopped, or when the undone projects wait in the garage? If those things undone mean that I have time with my Beloved and that other people are loved on, then I will keep fighting and love the undone.

Dinner will be late. The house will be dirty. The dreams will not all come true here, but my heart will fight and love for the one thing that matters to me. I am looking forward to a wedding day--to a bridegroom who has prepared a place for me. I will not be content until I am with Him, until His dreams are my dreams,  until His kingdom is my kingdom.

God, lead me into battle and give me strength to fight.

I want to fight by giving myself to the simple act of dying. I want to change diapers, make food, play tag, and fold laundry.  I want to surrender the big dreams for little service, like You gave up heaven for a cross to make me a home with You.

I want to fight by proclaiming Your love to the ones who don't know. I don't want to look past them or be too busy for them. I want to extend the invitation to them to be a part of my life without being embarrassed by the fact that I don't have it all together and, as I said, dinner will be late and the house will be dirty. You want them in your home, Jesus, so I want them in mine too.

I want to fight by loving my children well and by receiving all the children You want to give me. You said they are arrows. They will fight the future battles that are beyond my reach. They will go to war and go further than I. God, they just look like children to me, but they are warriors to You and You are making a home for them too.

I want to never lose sight of you, Jesus. I want to remember that home is not here. Home is the kingdom I'm fighting for here on the battleground.

I will be a stay-at-war mom until the battle is won and You take me home. 

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