Monday, July 15, 2013

I am married to an advocate.

My husband's job in court is to take up the cause of another, to represent his client, to fight for them. Of all the people in the world he has fought for, he has always fought the hardest for me.

But sometimes in marriage you feel like you are on opposite sides of the courtroom.

I felt like that a few weeks ago. This time it wasn't a single argument or issue. It was the little things. I had been memorizing "Likewise, wives, be subject to your husbands...." (1 Peter 3) and trying to really put it into practice. I had been trying to love my husband and please him and submit to his judgement in all the small things. After just a couple of days I found myself struggling.

God, I am the only girl in this family. I am the only person here who cares about the things that I care about. If I don't put out there what I want and fight for it, won't I always be overlooked? Will I lose even all the little things I care about? I will lose all the little things and the boys won't even know. If I don't fight for myself, who will? 

I sat and prayed and wrestled until I heard truth answer me.

Jessica, you have an advocate.  

I have someone on my team. The Holy Spirit is my advocate. I have a helper who intercedes for me, guides me, and teaches me. There is someone on my team pleading my cause for me. I don't have to fight. I just have to listen and follow.

Sometimes in a case Brandon has to ask his client to give on the small things in order to win the important things. We have to listen to the Holy Spirit and we have to submit because sometimes we need to give up all the small things to win the big thing---the heart of our husband and the heart of the Lord.

If it is important, I have an advocate and he will fight for me and I will have it. I will trust Him to know what is important and what needs to be let go and I will trust His timing. I am free to fight for my husband because I have an advocate who will fight for me.

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